Questions I have been pondering: Are Thank You Notes outdated? Does an e-mailed thank you replace a hard copy thank you note? Where did Dawn get those darn cute thank you cards? How did Melissa send out personalized (w/ photos no less) thank you cards the day after the event happened?...
I take pride in writing thank you notes, however, I am human. I have been known to forget them all together or have great expectations to send out "super cute" homemade thank you cards and it never happens. I usually enjoy sitting down to write thank you notes. It allows me to reminisce about what I experienced, who did what or who purchased what gifts. This gives me time to sit and enjoy the experience one more time. Life often runs by too quickly and this alone time lets me take it in at my own pace, with my own thoughts. Example: Wow, what a great friend, she totally went above and beyond or I can't believe she totally gets me and not often, but I must admit I have those moments when I think: I am grateful, but what do I write? You shouldn't have, no really I mean it, you shouldn't have. I am being honest and I am sure we have all had those moments. This is why I am a fan of gift registries. I would prefer to buy you something you want than guess. However, if I take the time to check your registry, I will admit I do watch the mail box for the thank you note that follows. Is this wrong, are my expectations too high? How do you feel about thank you notes? I remember my mom forcing me to write thank you notes as a child and I now want to thank her for giving me what I feel is a great skill to have in my tool box.
I wanted to share this information I found online at The Art of Manliness, http://artofmanliness.com/ Re: Thank You Notes and Men
Gratitude is a virtue every man should cultivate. Yet gratitude means nothing if you haven’t mastered the art of expressing it. A man should use every opportunity to express to those around him how much he appreciates their love, support, and generosity. One of the key ways of expressing gratitude is the thank you note. Unfortunately, many men today completely overlook this aspect of etiquette and consequently, break the hearts of sweet little grandmas everywhere. Every gentlemen should be knowledgeable of the when’s and how’s of writing thank you notes. Being a frequent and skillful writer of them will set you apart from your uncouth peers.
When to write a thank you note:
-When you receive a gift (Especially if the gift is from your Italian grandma. If you don’t write a thank you note, she’ll put the moloch on you.)
-When someone performs an act of service for you.
-When someone goes above and beyond what is asked of them, whether at work or in a friendship.
-After a job interview.
-When you stay overnight at someone’s home.
-If someone shows you around their town or city when you’re vacationing there, regardless of whether you stayed at their home or not.
-When someone has you over for dinner.
-When someone throws a party of event for you.
-Anytime someone does something extraordinary that warms your heart. Don’t be stingy with the thank you note. There’s never a wrong time to write one.
Ground Rules
1. Always write the note as soon as possible. Send it within two weeks of attending the event or receiving the gift.
2. Send it through the mail. Email thank you’s are certainly convenient, but except in response to very small things, they are not appropriate. Some may say, “Well, a thank you is a thank you. Why does it matter what form it takes?” Sending a thank you note through the mail shows effort. It shows that you took the time to put pen to paper, addressed an envelope, and bought a stamp. It’s tangible; they can touch it, hold it, and display it on the mantle. It makes your thank you far more sincere.
3. Use real stationary. Having to run to the store to buy a card every time you need to write a thank you note will make you drag your feet about writing them. So invest in some nice looking stationary. It doesn’t have to be fancy; buy something with a neutral, conservative theme so that the cards can be used for a variety of occasions.
If You Need More Help: How to Write a Thank You Card
1. Begin by expressing your gratitude for the gift/service. You’re opener is simple: “Thank you very much for ______________.” If the gift was money, use a euphemism for it. Instead of “thank you for the dough,” say “thank you for your kindness/generosity/gift.”
2. Mention specific details about how you plan to use a gift or what you enjoyed about an experience. If you are thanking someone for holding an event like a party or dinner, be specific about what you enjoyed about it. If you are thanking someone for a gift, tell the note’s recipient how you plan to use it. This is true even for a monetary gift; tell the giver what you plan to spend it on or what you’re saving for.
3. For some recipients, add some news about your life. This isn’t always appropriate; obviously if you’re writing a thank you note for say, a job interview, you don’t want to tell them how you recently caught a two foot bass. But if you receive a gift in the mail from people who see you infrequently and who would like to know more about what’s going on in your life (read: your grandparents), give a brief sketch about what you’ve been up to recently. You know Aunt Myrtle will love it.
4. Close by referencing the past and alluding to the future. If the person gave you the gift at a recent event, write, “It was great to see you at Christmas.” Then say, “I hope we all can get together again next year.” If the person sent the gift in the mail, and you see them infrequently, simply write “I hope to see you soon.”
5. Repeat your thanks. “Thank you again for the gift,” makes the perfect last line.
6. Valediction. Valedictions are the words or phrases that come before your name. The hardest part of a thank you note is often choosing a valediction that appropriately conveys the level of your relationship with the recipient. “Love” can sometimes seem too gushy and “Sincerely” can seem too formal. If your affections fall somewhere between those two expressions, here are some neutral valedictions that can fit a wide variety of situations and relationships:
Yours Truly
Truly Yours
Kindest Regards
Warmest Regards
Best Regards
Respectfully
Thank you to everyone who takes the time to write out thank you cards and send them via the US postal system. I for one appreciate them and hope to see the trend of parents forcing their children to write thank you notes continue, in the long run it is a useful skill set to have on-hand. I currently have 2 thank you notes sitting on my desk, because I enjoy seeing them. "Natasha yours is one of them, I love the glitter cards and to think you had a liver transplant and still found the time to send out a thank you card!" I hope this post gave you something to think about, taught you something new or encouraged you to appreciate thank you notes.
Cheers,
Crystal
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