Friends, Make the World Go Around...Men Just Enhance It!

I have found myself pondering what makes me happy - What do I want out of MY life? Marriage and babies tend to be on most women's mind when it comes to life successes. However, I have never felt these were necessary to live a fulfilled life. I have a best friend, whose name I will not use to protect the innocent, but together we are going to copyright: "I want (insert name) to enhance my life, not be my life." We both feel strongly about this and when she used this line, I whole heartedly agreed! I like to think of marriage as a partnership where both parties bring something to the table. I honestly feel marriage has changed significantly since the "nuclear" family has adjusted and changed over the years. Also you do not have to be legally married to be in a partnership. I like to think of all relationships (friends, work, family) in my life as partnerships. Why should one person ever hold up a relationship/partnership for two people - "PARTNER" assumes two or more people are involved.
I am at a time in my life, where friends are marrying, friends are divorcing, friends are welcoming bouncing babies (the first or second), friends are buying homes or upgrading homes and I have some friends who are still trying to find themselves. I have recently decided to control your own happiness you never truly find yourself, but you ebb and flow with the tides. I have been known to be a control freak and if something isn't done the way I do it, then it is wrong - I am making an effort to work on these things in my life. This is where Yoga entered my life last week. People really take time out of the day to stretch and just be in the current space?? I am not there yet, because my mind does not seem to have a pause button. However, I am going to give it a good try. I like the idea in theory.
****This blog entry may seem to be all over the place, but I have been thinking alot and I just like to write it all out.****I am also at a point in my life where I am learning/trying to listen more and not talk so much. I am not saying I did not like the way I lived my life before, I am just trying something new. We all learn from our mistakes and it can be painful to watch what you think is a mistake take place before your eyes, but who am I tell anyone else how to live their life? At this point, I am still deciding how to live mine. :) Also it may not be a mistake, it may be the best decision ever made! I don't take "risks" well - so I often think things maybe mistakes but they aren't. I am vowing via this blog to incorporate some "calculated" risks into my everyday life. I know I am “that friend” that if I give too much unwanted input people don’t like me (or what I have to say). I can be opinionated and I've always said, "that is just who I am." However, I am attempting to begin a new journey (path) in my life where I am going to step back, watch, listen, live and enjoy. I am always willing to offer my input or a word of caution, but it is not up to me to try and save the world. Why did I ever feel it was my job to protect others? I think I am honestly just a caregiver at heart and I want to make everything better - I love projects! I am going to care for ME!

This picture may not look like much to you, but to me it made my heart sing. This is George sleeping on C.J. - This morning as I exited the shower, I peeked out to see if C.J. was still sleeping and lo and behold George was sleeping on him. George use to always sleep on C.J. every night, however since his illness he has not jumped up on the bed much. Yesterday when I came home from work George and Diesel Ann were curled up together on the bed. I may not love cat hair on my bed, but to see George trying to act like himself again gives me some hope. I am not sure if George will pull through his illness, but I do know he is feeling better. All I can ask for is for George to feel well enough to behave like a cat, enjoy his family, eat when hungry and use the cat box! Trying to learn to be excited for the little things and not fret about the things I can not control. Tonight Indigo has school and hopefully she will perform well, because yesterday she was a brat. She did not listen to any commands and was very unlike herself. I hope she was just having a bad day yesterday, because I like it better when my dog listens and likes me. I am wondering if she is not feeling well or was just having a moment.

OKAY, big news - For the first time on Thursday I will try basic beginner yoga. If you know me well, you know I don't like to try new things or things I may not be good at, so this is a big "baby" step for me. I did not want to face this new challenge alone, so I bribed my mom into going with me. If I am going to enter into an unknown and strange world, I felt I should take someone along with me. :) Mom and I begin Yoga on Thursday. Wish us luck!

My weeks are filling up, Dog School on Tuesdays and Yoga on Thursdays. Also contemplating joining some of my girlfriends for their Women's Bible study on Wednesday. I must admit some of these new thoughts/adventures are from my last Book Club assignment, Eat, Pray, Love! This is the first book to really move me in some time. I did not enjoy all of the book and literally only scanned some sections, but other sections I read twice to make up for scanning others. :)